Bleach Database

* (Translation: Dattebayo)

* "The pendulum swings back. The story barreling towards the future will stop for an instant, so that we may peer into the past. Though it was only the briefest of moments, its effects were wide-spread and long-lasting. We must know the past, ye we are forbidden to learn. Therein lies the truth behind the masks."

Soul Society, Sereitei, General Area

* Aizen, the Lieutenant of the 5th Division, walks by. Other Shinigami greet him. Aizen greets them back.

Aizen: Good morning.

* He stops before a door.

Aizen: Are you all set, Captain?

* Shinji Hirako, the Captain of the 5th Division, replies from inside.

Shinji: Yep, c'mon on in!

Aizen: As you wish.

* Aizen goes in. There's some music playing from a LP player.

Shinji: What's it? Yer warin' yer normal clothes!

Shinji: We're goin' to a festival! I toldja ta get dolled up, Sousuke!

Aizen: But, Captain, you're wearing normal clothes as well.

Shinji: I'm allowed ta dress like this 'cause I'm a captain!

Aizen: I can't be the only one there wearing non-regulation clothes. Besides, it's a memorial, not a festival.

Shinji: It'll be like a festival since we'll still be celebratin', ya know?

Aizen: No, it won't.

Shinji: Whatta nit-picker.

Aizen: By the way, Captain, what's this music you have playing?

Shinji: It's a new type 'a music from the real world! Pretty nice, ain't it?

Aizen: I'm not sure.

Shinji: Then why'd ya bring it up?

Soul Society, Sereitei, Headquarters, 1st Division Barracks

* Shinji and Aizen are standing before the gate of the 1st Division Barracks.

Shinji: Hello! Captain Hirako Shinji from the 5th Squad over here! Could someone open the door?!

* Shinji sighs.

Shinji: Seesh, I hate it when we gotta go to the 1st Division's barracks. It makes me nervous. That's why I never come here!

Aizen: You certainly don't look like you're nervous. Please don't have a temper-tantrum just because you're annoyed at having to come to the memorial.

Shinji: Shaddap! Ya can't even see my face from over there, Sousuke.

Aizen: The door's opened, please go on in.

Shinji: Yeah, y--

* Shinji is greeted with a bare kick in the face. Hiyori Sarugaki, the Lieutenant of the 12th Division, flies in.

* Shinji is sent flying and hits the wall.

Hiyori: 'Sup, Dickhead Shinji! Your face was especially flat and easy for me ta stomp on today!

Shinji: Damn you, Hiyori!

Hiyori: What, I ain't gonna apologize!

Shinji: I hadn't even said anything yet!

Hiyori: That means I really don't have to apologize!

* Someone in a Captain uniform hits Hiyori upside the head. It's Love Aikawa, the Captain of the 7th Division.

Love: Say you're sorry, stupid! Man, you're such a...

Hiyori: What's yer problem, Love?! Ya think it's okay to go 'round smacking some other squad's Lieutenant upside the head?!

Love: The Captain's not around, so someone has to keep an eye on you.

Hiyori: Quit making it sound like I'm a kid! There ain't no reason for me to apologize to him!

* Shinji is making funny faces at Hiyori.

Hiyori: Just look at 'im! He pisses me off!

Love: Fine, whatever.

* Love grabs Hiyori by the head and goes inside.

Hiyori: Lemme go!

Love: Let's go.

Hiyori: I said to let go, damn it!

Aizen: Captain, please stop instigating. Make sure to never make that face in front of our men.

Soul Society, Sereitei, Headquarters, 1st Division Barracks

* Shinji and Love are looking at the wooden plaques hanging on the wall. Each of them has the symbol of a division, but some are missing.

Shinji: Is everyone here?

Love: Pretty much.

Shinji: But the 11th Division ain't here!

Love: He's playing hooky again. He's blowing everyone off like usual.

Shinji: What? I dunno who the 10th Kenpachi is, but he seems pretty dang laid back. Wonder how the hell a pig like him ever became a captain...

Aizen: Captain!

Love: It couldn't be helped! The Kenpachi has been the 11th Division's captain for generations. That's how it's set up. If you want to place blame somewhere, blame the last Kenpachi who lost to him.

Shinji: Good point! He was so boring I yawned myself to tears!

Shunsui: What's this? I don't like it when I hear people speak ill of others behind their backs.

* Shunsui and Ukitake, captains of the 8th and 13th Divisions, along with Lisa Yadoumaru, Lieutenant of the 8th Division, walk in.

Love: You're here pretty early today, aren't you, Shunsui-san?

Shunsui: What are you talking about? I'm always the first one here.

Lisa: I grabbed his butt to wake him up today.

* Shunsui makes a face.

Shunsui: Don't speak like that in front of the other captains.

* Ukitake observes the plaques.

Ukitake: I don't see Hikifune around. I guess she isn't coming here anymore.

Shunsui: It looks like she's already joined up with her new group.

* They all walk along a hallway.

Ukitake: What a disappointment. It's not like we're in an emergency situation. She should have taken it a bit slower.

Shunsui: You said it.

Shinji: But ya know, we've been switchin' out captains one after another. Rose just became the captain of the 3rd Division two years ago.

* As Shinji speaks, Rose appears walking across the other side of the barrack. He sneezes.

Shinji: And now it's the 12th Division. Are we gonna be okay?

Shunsui: Relax. Everything has to change sooner or later. This is just one of those times. Come to think of it, Ukitake, Yama-jii and I are the only ones who've been captains for over 100 years, right?

Ukitake: You forgot someone! Captain Unohana, remember?

Shunsui: Oh, that's right! She'd be livid if I forgot about her. Scary stuff.

* Unohana walks from behind Shunsui and Ukitake.

Unohana: What's so scary?

* Ukitake and Shunsui freeze for a moment.

Shunsui: No, nothing! We were just saying that the weather is so nice today that it's almost scary, right?

* Ukitake agrees with him, sort of.

* The lieutenants watch the captains' conversation from a distance.

Lisa: My captain's such a dork.

Unohana: The 3rd Division's captain retired, and the 12th Division's captain was promoted. At least they didn't fall in the line of duty, like the 10th Division's captain. It's wonderful that i's so peaceful, don't you think?

Aizen: Promoted?

Shinji: Hey, Sousuke!

Aizen: My apologies! I overhead your conversation...

Shunsui: No, it's fine, Sousuke-kun. What is it?

Aizen: We lieutenants hadn't been told anything about this. Is it true that the 12th Division's Captain Hikifune got promoted and didn't retire?

Shunsui: That's right.

Aizen: A position higher than captain could only mean she's become part of the Central 46, correct? But I've never heard of a captain getting promoted to Room 46 before...

Shunsui: It's not Room 46. She entered the Royal Guard, the Zero Division.

* Aizen is shocked.

Aizen: The Royal Guard?!

* Someone arrives. It's Ginrei Kuchiki, Captain of the 6th Division, along with Yoruichi Shihonin, Captain of the 2nd Division.

Ginrei: What's all this? Can I get through, please?

Aizen: Our apologies!

* The both of them go through. Unohana approaches Yoruichi.

Unohana: Congratulations!

Yoruichi: If you're going to congratulate someone, shouldn't it be to the person in question, Captain Unohana?

* Shinji watches Yoruichi as she walks through.

Shinji: *to himself* What's up? Some newbie's the 2nd Division's...

Soul Society, Sereitei, Secret Training Field

* Yoruichi is in a place that looks like hills. Someone approaches her from behind. She realizes the presence and attacks. They exchange physical attacks which seem to be equal power.

Yoruichi: You really thought you'd masked your reiatsu, Kisuke?

Urahara: I let you sense me on purpose!

Yoruichi: Excuses...

* Yoruichi uses shunpo and attacks head-on with a kick. Urahara blocks with his fist. Yoruichi attacks continuously, but every attack is blocked. She lands and kicks dirt on Urahara, blinding him momentarily. When he gets his sight back, he sees Yoruichi's fist in front of his face.

Urahara: And as always, you move like a true warrior, Yoruichi-san.

Yoruichi: Yeah, right. I'm just getting warmed up!

* She throws a kick. Urahara dodges and manages to send her flying with a kick. They land away from each other. Urahara sits down.

Urahara: That's a bit much for a warm-up!

Yoruichi: Well, I've hit that age where a girl worries about that kind of stuff.

Urahara: Worries? You don't have a care in the world, Yoruichi-san!

* Yoruichi hits him upside the head.

Urahara: Ouch!

Yoruichi: And what about you? How's it all going?

Urahara: Well, I managed to clear away all the obstacles.

Yoruichi: I see. I'm counting on you, Unit captain.

Urahara: Right. Oh, yes. What did you need me for?

Yoruichi: Oh, that's right! We received a summons from the Captain-Commander today. I've recommended you for the position of 12th Division Captain.

Urahara: Why'd you do that?

* Yoruichi walks away.

Yoruichi: You'll have to take the Captain Qualification Exam later.

* Yoruichi shunpos and disappears.

Soul Society, Sereitei, 2nd Division Barracks

Soi Fon: Welcome back, Yoruichi-sama.

* Yoruichi throws her captain haori at Soi Fon.

Soi Fon: Yoruichi-sama?

Yoruichi: Man, I'm beat!

Soi Fon: Yoruichi-sama!

* Yoruichi sits down and eats cookies.

Soi Fon: You're overestimating that man, Yoruichi-sama.

Yoruichi: I don't think I'm overestimating him or underestimating him.

Soi Fon: This is no joke! It's not as if I don't understand what you're thinking. Allow me to say this! I believe that you were mistaken when you placed him in charge of the Special Forces Detention Unit. The Detention Unit is a very important unit that watches and captures anyone who disturbs the peace.

* Yoruichi looks bored.

Soi Fon: That man isn't qualified for such a position!

* Flashback...

* Soi Fon walks towards a room.

Soi Fon: I have a message from the Captain! Third Seat, are you there? Please respond!

* Silence.

Soi Fon: Third Seat!

* The door opens. Soi Fon covers her nose from the smell.

Urahara: Sorry, I was asleep...

Soi Fon: What's that smell?

* They look inside the room. Looks like a laboratory.

Urahara: I've been shut up in this room for a while, so... I was condicting an experiment, you see.

* ... end of Flashback.

Soi Fon: He's dirty and stupid! He's nothing but a lump of laziness and mediocrity!

Yoruichi: He's not much of a hard worker, I'll give you that. But why are you so interested in Kisuke anyway?

* Soi Fon blushes.

Soi Fon: I'm not interested in him! I'm trying to say--

Yoruichi: Well, it's all good.

* Yoruichi laughs.

* Flashback shows Yoruichi as a princess, and Soi Fon as a kid.

Soul Society, Sereitei, 2nd Division Barracks

* Soi Fon is walking by herself.

Soi Fon: I don't care if Yoruichi-sama has known him for a long time, she's too lenient!

* She sees Urahara walking around.

Soi Fon: I need to make my position clearer!

* Soi Fon follows Urahara.

Soul Society, Sereitei, General Area

* Soi Fon watches Urahara from a distance, as he walks around Sereitei and talk to other Shinigami. She takes notes in a small book.

Soi Fon: (What does he think his job as a Shinigami, anyway? He wastes every day wandering around.)

Soul Society, Rukongai, Residential Area

* Urahara heads to Rukongai and play with the kids there. He wins a game, and hugs a woman nearby. Soi Fon keeps watching and jotting down stuff.

Soi Fon: On top of skipping work, he lacks morals.

* Scene changes to a store where Urahara seems to be offering a old man a pot of something that looks like fruits or sweets.

Soi Fon: Embezzlement!

* Scene changes to a restaurant where Urahara drinks with other Shinigami.

Soi Fon: Drinking sake in the afternoon?!

* Soi Fon makes a noise and hides. Urahara notices.

Soi Fon: I'm sure Yoruichi-sama will change her mind when she finds out what that man's really like.

* Back to the 2nd DIvision Barracks... Soi Fon is running along the hallway, carrying papers.

Soi Fon: (I'll show Yoruichi-sama just what type of person he really is!)

* She arrives in Yoruichi's room.

Soi Fon: Excuse me--

* Urahara is there with Yoruichi. Soi Fon is surprised.

Yoruichi: Hey! Great timing!

Urahara: Oh, hello.

* Soi Fon walks in and kneels down.

Yoruichi: Kisuke here is going to take the Captain Qualification Exam.

Soi Fon: Yoruichi-sama, don't tell me this man is--!

Yoruichi: Yeah. And I thought you might want to attend the exam. Normally only captains are allowed to attend the exam, but I asked for special permission for you to come.

Soi Fon: Wh-Why should I attend--

Yoruichi: No need for secrets. I know that you've got the hots for Kisuke!

* Soi Fon blushes, annoyed.

Soi Fon: Wh-What was that?!

Yoruichi: Don't be so shy! I know all about how you've been following Kisuke around town!

* Urahara is also blushing.

Soi Fon: No, you've got it wrong!

* Soi Fon throws her papers to the ground.

Soi Fon: Please don't belittle me! I was following him around because I wanted to prove to you that this man is lazy and slothful and not worthy of your praise!

* Soi Fon grabs the papers and offers them to Yoruichi.

Soi Fon: I believe that you'll chnage your mind about him once you take a look at this.

* Yoruichi takes the papers. Kisuke peeks in. Yoruichi reads.

Yoruichi: Hey, look at this, Kisuke. She's written down everything you've done all day in detail.

Urahara: That's amazing!

Soi Fon: He skips out on his job in the 13 Protection Squads and loiters around Rukongai. He doesn't do anything beneficial. Is this how a Third Seat should behave?

* Soi Fon turns to Urahara.

Soi Fon: I'd like to hear your excuse if you have one.

Urahara: No, you've got it right, so...

Soi Fon: So--!

Yoruichi: You haven't changed a bit, Kisuke.

Urahara: Yeah, well...

Soi Fon: Soi Fon, job well done. It's exactly as you described.

* Soi Fon smiles.

Soi Fon: Right!

Yoruichi: I can feel your passion overflowing from this love letter!

* Soi Fon frowns.

Soi Fon: As I've said, I don't like--!

* Yoruichi laughs.

Yoruichi: Fine, whatever! Don't be such a stiff, Soi Fon. Loosen up.

* Someone shunpos in.

Shinigami: Excuse me! Unit Captain!

Urahara: Did you find them?

Shinigami: Yes!

* Yoruichi stands up.

Yoruichi: Is it about that?

Urahara: I'm sorry. They've found the people I've been searching for. Would you mind going on ahead without me?

Yoruichi: I've got to. I guess I'll go on ahead to the testing grounds and set everything up.

Soi Fon: Please wait a moment, Yoruichi-sama! If he doesn't come back in time for the test, he'll soil not only the 2nd Squad's name, but yours as well, Yoruichi-sama!

Urahara: Oh, it'll be okay.

Soi Fon: Do you think I could trust you?!

Yoruichi: Kisuke, leave immediately.

Urahara: Bye.

* Urahara shunpos away.

Soi Fon: Wait! ... Yoruichi-sama...

Yoruichi: Come on, Soi Fon! Begin preparing!

Soul Society, Rukongai, Residential Area

* Several Shinigami, along with Urahara, watch over a wooden house from the middle of a forest.

Urahara: Where are they?

Shinigami: They're inside. However, we believe they know we're here.

Urahara: Oh well, I figured that'd happen. They've probably been keeping an eye on us the whole time. It's just a matter of waiting for them to lose their patience.

* Soi Fon arrives.

Soi Fon: You're...

* Soi Fon realizes the Shinigami with Kisuke were the ones drinking with him before.

Soi Fon: What's going on? What's in there?

Urahara: Deserters.

Soi Fon: Deserters?

Urahara: I guess they didn't care much for Seireitei.

* There is a spiritual pressure. Soi Fon grabs on Urahara's kimono, like she's scared.

Soi Fon: What's with that reiatsu?!

Urahara: It's a threat. I doubt they're ready to come out.

* Soi Fon realizes she's grabbing Urahara and releases it.

Urahara: But I did make a promise to Yoruichi-san.

Soi Fon: What are you going to do?

Urahara: I'll be right back.

Soi Fon: Wait! Don't tell me you're going to go up against whoever released all that reiatsu on your own!

* Urahara walks towards the house.

Soi Fon: Urahara--

Urahara: Please stay back.

* He shunpos to the house's door, kicks it open and goes inside. There's a huge explosion of spirit force, which ends in seconds. The other Shinigami go in, along with Soi Fon. She sees defeated Shinigami all over the place. Urahara approaches Soi Fon.

Urahara: That's that. How about we leave the rest to the others and head back? Looks like we'll make it in time after all.

Soul Society, Sereitei, Headquarters, 1st Division Barracks

* Urahara arrives. Yoruichi, Ginrei, Yamamoto and Unohana are waiting.

Urahara: I, Urahara Kisuke, have arrived.

Yamamoto: Show me if you are worthy of 2nd Squad Captain Shihouin Yoruichi's recommendation.

Urahara: Yes, sir!

* Time goes by, and Urahara's old room is now empty. Soi Fon observes.

Soul Society, Sereitei, Headquarters, 1st Division Barracks

Kensei: It looks like the new guy's coming. The old fart said to line up and wait for him.

* The captains and lieutenant line up. Urahara arrives.

Urahara: Uh oh!

Urahara: Don't tell me I'm the last one to get here!

Shinji: It looks like a real flake's joined us.

* Aizen observes.

Aizen: Indeed.

Shunsui: Ukitake. How old is Captain Unohana, exactly?

Ukitake: She's about--

Unohana: What are you talking about?

Shunsui: Uh, about the future of the Protection Squads.

Unohana: Then let's discuss it in my private chambers.

Living World, Karakura Town, Kurosaki Family's House

Rukia: How do these look?

Ichigo: The same as always.

Rukia: Great! These are the illustrations for the report I'm turning in to Soul Society. It makes it easier for them to understand what you do everyday as a Substitute Shinigami. It's a nice idea, isn't it?

Ichigo: Hey, wait! What'd you just say?!

Rukia: Starting next week we'll be airing the Substitute Shinigami Work Diary!

Ichigo: What the hell?!